“Best New Artist?! ‘Living On a Prayer’ Is Older Than I Am!!!” – A Grammy Recap

OK, so here’s the deal – even if you don’t care at all about the Grammys you probably have already heard something along these lines:

• Bruce Springsteen…strings…yadi yada…Clarance Clemmons’ memorium  was cut for Jennifer Hudson’s tribute to Whitney Houston…whatever… (hey, did you hear Girls on tour in Singapore covered “I Will Always Love You”?  Kind of like that time on Gilmore Girls – no pun intended.  What a great Dolly salute)…
• Bruno Mars will never have moves like James Brown (but always comes off like he thinks he does)…
• The Beach Boys reunited and were assisted – to the chagrin of their legacy-protective fans – by Foster the People and a dude who will never have moves like Jagger (but always comes off like he thinks he does) – click to watch.  If you don’t understand why the Grammy folk would do this to us poor, unsuspecting fans (Brian Wilson is a genius you know?) have your mom explain it to you.
• Glen Campbell received a tribute too – with the Rhinestone Cowboy himself providing its finale (clicky click to see it).  Why didn’t he play with his former band mates, The Beach Boys?
• The top 40 entertainers – y’know, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj – stretched their dramatics and staging budgets to unconvincing extremes… the details aren’t worth mentioning. Watch for yourself if so inclined.  (Dear Nicki, haven’t you heard?  Nothing’s shocking)…
• UPDATE Wondering why Minaj attended the ceremonies with some guy dressed as the Pope or what her controversial performance was trying to say?  You’re not the only one.  Thankfully, she explained to Ryan Seacrest the next morning on his KIIS-FM radio show that the Pope character “is major part of the story and the movie that I’m writing about one of my alter egos. His name is Roman. Basically the religious figure is there because he was called on by Roman’s mom to rehabilitate him.”  Oh.  That explains it. 
• Still confused, but intrigued?  Read more of her comments here.  And here’s how the Catholic League responded…
• OK, well this is a bit shocking: Chris Brown being honored was actually polarizing.   It’s no surprise that many scorned his wins, but tweets on the other side of the spectrum were a bit troubling…he’s #sosexy…
• …Coldplay stopped by too…
• …as did The Civil Wars…
• Paul McCartney plugged “My Valentine” from his new Kisses on the Bottom (what, you haven’t heard it yet? click here), and ended the ceremony playing the tail of Abbey Road with a little help from Bruce Springsteen and Dave Groh (click to watch)…
• No “Her Majesty” after the credits though…
• Wasted opportunity…
• Was there a law passed at some point in the ’90s that Tony Bennett is only safe for mass consumption when watered down in duet form?
• Following last year’s viral adverse-reactions to the Grammy wins of Arcade Fire and Esperanza Spalding by Beleibers and their ilk (Eminem fans etc), bloggers were ready in 2012 with twitter/WhoIsBonnieBear and who-is-bon-iver.tumblr.  And yes, the inevitable “Who Is Bon Iver” messages followed on social media sites – that’s when the complainers got the name right (“Bonny Bear” being the most popular misconception – though actually a character on BabyFirst TV).  Less expected was “Who is Paul McCartney” trending on Twitter.  For many the Paul tweets were jokes, for others…uh…  Have you seen these screen-shots at buzzfeed/who-is-paul-mccartney?
• Then there’s Justin Vernon’s acceptance speech after Bon Iver won the second of their two Grammys: “It’s really hard to accept this award.  There’s so much talent out here… and there’s a lot of talent that’s not here tonight. It’s also hard to accept because you know, when I started to make songs I did it for the inherent reward of making songs, so I’m a little bit uncomfortable up here” which was a soft way of rephrasing his much-copy-and-pasted New York Times interview Grammy quote from last December (“I don’t think the Bon Iver record is the kind of record that would get nominated for a Grammy.  I kinda felt like going up there and being like: ‘Everyone should go home, this is ridiculous. You should not be doing this. We should not be gathering in a big room and looking at each other and pretending that this is important.’ That’s what I would say.”) and a more recent interview with Billboard (“We kind of said ‘fuck you’ a little bit and they sort of acted like they wanted us to play, but I don’t think they wanted us to play. Fuckin’ rock ‘n’ roll should not be decided by people that have that job. Rock ‘n’ roll should be the fucking people with guitars around their backs“).
• Adele won some awards too, or something…

UPDATE February 14th Spin.com just posted Justin’s first post-Grammys interview.  Here are ten quotes that explain how he feels now compared to before his big wins:

• “If it wasn’t the Grammys, it’d be something else. Can you imagine a Pitchfork Awards? That’d be worse…It’d be the same kind of problems. It’s not that the Grammys are evil, they’ve just been around the longest…I think Pitchfork probably wanted me to go up there and raise hell. Because then they get to look like the entity that helped fuel the fire that changed the industry. But all that is them funneling readers to their website.”
• “I feel like I know now, I know what it’s like. Whatever concerns or discomforts I have about the Grammys don’t matter. Not that I should shut up about them, but just because one group of people is having an awards ceremony that they think is the center of the universe for one night… I know what I know and I feel what I feel, but it just doesn’t matter. For the time I was there, I just enjoyed it…I think I had more fun that I thought I would. I think the music was a lot better than I thought it would be. Plenty of things proved my concerns, like people just not playing music. Chris Brown was pure playback. A few other people were just playback. And that’s hard to swallow.”
• “I realized last night, “I’m not the only different one in here.” Everyone is different from each other. Nobody has any idea how different we all are.”
• “Five minutes before I went up there, I was looking at it and I said to myself, “I’m not going to say that.” It wasn’t the right place or time, but I cut out the part that said, “It’s hard to accept this award because of all the talent out there, but also because Bon Iver is an entity and something that I gave myself to. A lot of people give themselves to it, so it’s hard to think of Bon Iver as an artist. Bon Iver is not an artist. Bon Iver is an idea…I thought it would be confusing and too self-referential.”
• “Clearly people saw the name Bon Iver on the screen last night and will never hear the music. Some people saw the name and made an opinion without having heard the music.”
• “I was obliged to be grateful because a bunch of people were supporting me. But it’s both, as they say in Milwaukee: It’s bad and good…In this last week I’ve realized that, whether I liked it or not, I’ve put up some walls and defenses. I just couldn’t get up there and look all those people in the eye and say, “You suck.” Because I didn’t think that at the time. I don’t think that now. Any of those feelings I had beforehand were probably a combination of those defenses and doubt and skepticism about what all of this means. I also didn’t want to be rude. A bunch of people voted for me. I got myself involved. I said it was okay for the label to submit us for the Grammys. So, ultimately, I don’t think I was ready to get up there and try to take the system down. Because I realized that a) it’s not going anywhere; b) I don’t need the shitstorm to deal with afterwards; because c) it’s just not that important. And because it’s not that important, I was able to enjoy it and understand its relative relevance, while also enjoying all of its irrelevance. Like, LL Cool J had a really cool-sounding speaking voice. Bruno Mars’ drummer was pretty fucking good. It just feels a lot better afterwards because of that, because you can see it for how big it is.”
• “Three-hundred-sixty-four more days until the next one. Every one of those days, I won’t be thinking about it.”
• “That scene in “Holocene” is about…that moment, as you realize your insignificance, you can therefore realize your significance. Whether we were on the Grammys last night or not, not much would change. Not much is different now… I’ve spent enough time caring about music that gets little to no recognition. So I know what it’s like. But at the end of the day, you either love to do it or you don’t. And I love it.”
• “I think a lot of how I live my live going forward is going to be connected to how I handle press.  It’s been the only source of anxiety with this growing process. I want to do what’s best for us and be creative. This has opened my eyes to what it’s going to take to do this band the way I really dream it could be. It’s going to take changing bandmates, changing sounds, changing instruments, changing voices, growing into myself, making tough decisions, taking the time to make tough creative decisions about what songs you play on SNL or what songs you write or how you want to approach press…I haven’t been very graceful — as graceful as I could be — with all of this stuff. Because it’s so full-on. I’ve spent so many hours of my life now interviewing and talking about it and getting convinced that it’s important, what I’m saying.”
• “I’m a romantic, I care about what it is. I care that it came from a pure place. Maybe it’s some weird, psychotic brainchild and I’m overly protective. But maybe that’s what’s inspired me about Neil Young. He just did it. He always put music first. If that’s what it’s about, then it should stay that way.”

https://twitter.com/#!/stevendrozd/status/169088910079705088

If you missed all of the above – worry not.  Watching tweets from people watching the award ceremonies was more amusing than the show itself.  Here’s a recap of the funny and the insightful – but first, the completely clueless:

https://twitter.com/#!/boobymyles/status/168913515644583938

https://twitter.com/#!/BigLouAngelino3/status/168900988416163840

https://twitter.com/#!/habenn/status/168900875409039360

https://twitter.com/#!/prettyunicorn_/status/168946616181592064

https://twitter.com/#!/ULoveRIC/status/168900944237559809

https://twitter.com/#!/hipsterrunoff/status/169510983461646336

https://twitter.com/#!/st_vincent/status/168901433452802048

https://twitter.com/#!/mercuryrevvd/status/169176249732829184

https://twitter.com/#!/jack_jackeeee/status/168901178975985666

https://twitter.com/#!/Ayanna_94/status/168900922821451779

https://twitter.com/#!/iLo_OveMaryJane/status/168901153210384385

https://twitter.com/#!/AkaDopeGuy_/status/168900942002003969

https://twitter.com/#!/MusiqBoateng/status/168901343896014848

https://twitter.com/#!/jakefogelnest/status/168878625863630850

https://twitter.com/#!/SUNBEARS/status/168867804748070914

https://twitter.com/#!/mzmartincoyne/status/168953556584509440

https://twitter.com/#!/joshjackson/status/168881358196842497

https://twitter.com/#!/stevendrozd/status/169089549778157569

https://twitter.com/#!/KliphScurlock/status/169457256826540032

https://twitter.com/#!/ROCKworth/status/168855996373012480

https://twitter.com/#!/michaelianblack/status/168878710613749761

https://twitter.com/#!/ROCKworth/status/168878906357714944

https://twitter.com/#!/jakefogelnest/status/168861981669994496

https://twitter.com/#!/Brenna_E/status/168912652280672257

https://twitter.com/#!/FutureHeartDay/status/167333291739987968

https://twitter.com/#!/justincrockett/status/168883049013063680

https://twitter.com/#!/ROCKworth/status/168882245304729600

https://twitter.com/#!/justincrockett/status/168882123565051905

https://twitter.com/#!/FutureHeartDay/status/168886180673372161

https://twitter.com/#!/Brenna_E/status/168883092545744896

https://twitter.com/#!/Spinner/status/168883161600761856

https://twitter.com/#!/AlexYoung/status/168883279099985923

https://twitter.com/#!/justincrockett/status/168883373798985730

https://twitter.com/#!/justincrockett/status/168887548490420226

https://twitter.com/#!/DwellingSpaces/status/168882998580752385

https://twitter.com/#!/SPINmagazine/status/168893138151276545

https://twitter.com/#!/FabFourFacts/status/168885918973964290

https://twitter.com/#!/ROCKworth/status/168888006101573633

https://twitter.com/#!/st_vincent/status/168905412752572416

https://twitter.com/#!/DwellingSpaces/status/168887473961828354

https://twitter.com/#!/SPINmagazine/status/168887325466701824

https://twitter.com/#!/whitestripesnet/status/168889198609309696

https://twitter.com/#!/93XRT/status/169185419068588032

https://twitter.com/#!/whitestripesnet/status/168889076878024706

https://twitter.com/#!/Brenna_E/status/168887646683271168

https://twitter.com/#!/SPINmagazine/status/168888323799126016

https://twitter.com/#!/AlexYoung/status/168887916188274688

https://twitter.com/#!/DwellingSpaces/status/168887962816352256

https://twitter.com/#!/FutureHeartDay/status/168890729840644096

https://twitter.com/#!/SoundCheckMB/status/168888672563888131

https://twitter.com/#!/Spinner/status/168888594692444161

https://twitter.com/#!/Baeblemusic/status/168891485486452736

https://twitter.com/#!/theantlers/status/168891586820837377

https://twitter.com/#!/fusetv/status/168891159912001538

https://twitter.com/#!/TheGRAMMYs/status/168906683895123968

https://twitter.com/#!/Under_Radar_Mag/status/168903561382592513

https://twitter.com/#!/thefader/status/168902631085969408

https://twitter.com/#!/tedleo/status/168912070144835585

https://twitter.com/#!/SPINmagazine/status/168909577461575681

https://twitter.com/#!/Brenna_E/status/168908701686706177

https://twitter.com/#!/mattpicasso/status/168908846172086272

https://twitter.com/#!/SKoABlog/status/168909306488565762

https://twitter.com/#!/TheOnion/status/168907378950029314

https://twitter.com/#!/SPINmagazine/status/168911083103453185

https://twitter.com/#!/st_vincent/status/168913092602904576

https://twitter.com/#!/st_vincent/status/168894869375434752

https://twitter.com/#!/Alananana/status/168914889014919169

https://twitter.com/#!/jakefogelnest/status/168914320825131008

https://twitter.com/#!/st_vincent/status/168914594323120128

https://twitter.com/#!/KliphScurlock/status/168914759670960130

https://twitter.com/#!/stevendrozd/status/169088132862578691

https://twitter.com/#!/jahboyjared/status/168886162105180161

https://twitter.com/#!/WilcoNews/status/169490678789849088

https://twitter.com/#!/maniacmeat/status/168919540141531137

https://twitter.com/#!/retsoor/status/168891706698235905

https://twitter.com/#!/mercuryrevvd/status/168895871931527168

https://twitter.com/#!/Bonnaroo/status/168916775004684289

  . . . “Bonny Bear” gets the last word – another quote from the aformentioned Spin interview,“Paul McCartney is up there and the guy has to love what he does and he obviously has to be happy with the other parts of his life, otherwise I don’t think he’d be having half as much fun up there. If he didn’t have harmony, he wouldn’t be up there. He would have been swallowed up by all of this. I think it’s pretty clear by the look on that guy’s face that he didn’t see that room as the center of the universe last night. He’s been around long enough to be comfortable up on that stage, to know that there’s more out there. That was my favorite: a 70-year-old guy, playing guitar. It’s people doing what they were born to do.”